Monsters, Inside and Out

Maybe Kevin Spacey is a monster, but it doesn’t shock me. Did you think rapists lived in coiled caves and drank blood under full moons, growing fur around their ankles? Monsters are not born in boiled mountains, fed on ash and bones. They are made out of gaping wounds, excuses, selfishness, the stupidity that comes […]

I Cook Because It Teaches Me How to Be Alive

When you cook a meal, it is the perfect representation of how will and action produce results. As I cook and try out new recipes, I’m learning what it’s like to be alive. I force myself out of disassociation by salting a broth and tasting how it makes the dish become brilliant with new dimensions. […]

Loss Is Inevitable, But so is Possibility

Every positive change in my life has required a loss. This shouldn’t be too much of a surprise, we live in a universe where all exchanges require reciprocal physics. Eating dinner is the act of alchemy – we use our bodies to transmute food for fuel and in that process, something is lost. “Life is […]

I Am Terrified of Everything

Terrifying Man in Smoke

My dad used to say nearly every time I saw him, “Do one thing a day that scares you.” Which, isn’t difficult for me, as I’m terrified of nearly everything. Getting out of bed can sometimes be a Sisyphean obstacle. Even if I hid inside the sheets all day my mind would find ways to […]

Of Dog Beaches and Peaches (Whiskey)

“Do not look around thee to discover other men’s ruling principles, but look straight to this, to what nature leads thee, both the universal nature through the things which happen to thee, and thy own nature through the acts which must be done by thee.” – Marcus Aurelius I was supposed to work on the […]

The Sunlight Hurts My Eyes: Some Writing Updates

1. I’m staring down my novel like it’s a feral dog, black and ragged and spitting in the corner. Maybe one day writing a long manuscript won’t feel like fighting an adversary. Maybe one day I’ll understand that all of this pain, confusion, and little spilled out drops of astonishing revelation that come with writing […]

How to Have Fun Writing Again

Enjoy writing, grow the glowing seed

When the dream meets reality, you have to deal with real problems that the dream could never actualize. Many days I romanticized about being able to spend all my time writing, living in a solipsistic wonderland inside my brain, sipping coffee and vodka while I wore turtlenecks and a disdain of all worldly things. But […]

Some Thoughts on the Relationship Between Writing and Fear

There will always come a moment when the joy of discovering a new artistic medium (I.E, writing) is eclipsed by the fear of not being good enough. The amount of courage required for a task does not necessarily equate to an equal amount of compensation, success, or satisfaction. You are right to be afraid of […]

Shut Up and Enjoy (Or Why You Should Do Things You Like)

I think if I could give my younger self advice that I probably wouldn’t listen to it would be to actually learn to enjoy life. Which when said out loud seems silly and self-evident. But I spent a lot of time refusing to do anything that would sway me from the goals that I had […]

My daily routine for writing and happiness

It’s difficult to be human, but we all have very important jobs perpetuating the human race, and making ourselves better to contribute to the betterment of all humankind and ultimately the universe, probably shouldn’t be an easy job. Whether you’re a corporate executive, a coal-miner, or a kid who dropped out of college so he […]