Tag: PTSD

Loss Is Inevitable, But so is Possibility

Loss Is Inevitable, But so is Possibility

Every positive change in my life has required a loss. This shouldn’t be too much of a surprise, we live in a universe where all exchanges require reciprocal physics. Eating dinner is the act of alchemy – we use our bodies to transmute food for fuel and in that process, something is lost. “Life is …

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Of Dog Beaches and Peaches (Whiskey)

Of Dog Beaches and Peaches (Whiskey)

“Do not look around thee to discover other men’s ruling principles, but look straight to this, to what nature leads thee, both the universal nature through the things which happen to thee, and thy own nature through the acts which must be done by thee.” – Marcus Aurelius I was supposed to work on the …

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Easy and Delicious Meals for your Existential Depression

Easy and Delicious Meals for your Existential Depression

There are days when the existential (or life-event) depression becomes crushing, like a visceral weight in your chest making it difficult to breathe. Every motion feels like its underwater. Your skull seems to be floating outside of your body. Maybe you’re suffering from an illness, a loss, a kind of Kafka-esque nightmarish awareness of your …

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Meditation for Cynics

Meditation for Cynics

I used to be anti-meditation. Whenever someone suggested meditation as a method of relaxation, I imagined sitting cross-legged on the floor in some expensive studio, dragon blood incense filling the room and soft chimes blowing as a chirpy voice commanded “Breathe in. Focus on the magic inner being…”. It was another facsimile of peace, something …

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The dream synced with reality

The dream synced with reality

Those fantasies of happiness used to always be so far away, in a future that I knew I’d never get to. They were reclusive fantasies, hermit-like, in bubbles of isolation that had the gray edges of a dreary afternoon. I’d live in Oklahoma or Iceland, writing and raising sheep, eating alone in diners to the …

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Edgar Allan Poe and lives defined by loss

Edgar Allan Poe and lives defined by loss

The more I read about Edgar Allan Poe, the more that I can feel his loneliness permeating every word, how the trauma of being denied love in early life can chase you until you’re exhausted with the pain. For all my suffering – I can’t fathom what it’d be like to be Poe, with a …

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