Monsters, Inside and Out

Maybe Kevin Spacey is a monster, but it doesn’t shock me. Did you think rapists lived in coiled caves and drank blood under full moons, growing fur around their ankles? Monsters are not born in boiled mountains, fed on ash and bones. They are made out of gaping wounds, excuses, selfishness, the stupidity that comes […]

Loss Is Inevitable, But so is Possibility

Every positive change in my life has required a loss. This shouldn’t be too much of a surprise, we live in a universe where all exchanges require reciprocal physics. Eating dinner is the act of alchemy – we use our bodies to transmute food for fuel and in that process, something is lost. “Life is […]

Easy and Delicious Meals for your Existential Depression

There are days when the existential (or life-event) depression becomes crushing, like a visceral weight in your chest making it difficult to breathe. Every motion feels like its underwater. Your skull seems to be floating outside of your body. Maybe you’re suffering from an illness, a loss, a kind of Kafka-esque nightmarish awareness of your […]

Meditation for Cynics

I used to be anti-meditation. Whenever someone suggested meditation as a method of relaxation, I imagined sitting cross-legged on the floor in some expensive studio, dragon blood incense filling the room and soft chimes blowing as a chirpy voice commanded “Breathe in. Focus on the magic inner being…”. It was another facsimile of peace, something […]

The perpetual epiphany machine: Writing and relaxation

I haven’t written anything in nearly two weeks. I needed to take a break, but sometimes even when I feel like I don’t have the energy to write the engines keep burning. It makes it difficult to accomplish the goal of relaxation when you’re ready to spring at any time. I could sit down with […]

The dream synced with reality

Those fantasies of happiness used to always be so far away, in a future that I knew I’d never get to. They were reclusive fantasies, hermit-like, in bubbles of isolation that had the gray edges of a dreary afternoon. I’d live in Oklahoma or Iceland, writing and raising sheep, eating alone in diners to the […]