Are you patient, are you kind? I would like to be. Many times, I have just been frightened instead. Someone pauses to take a breath. “Hurry up and speak!” I want to scream. I write their sentences in my head. I see the impending ocean of non-existence coming, we only have so many seconds to […]
I spent most of my early 20s in bars and strange houses. I slept on dirty floors in cold rooms and in strange beds surrounded with red mirrors. I’ve stumbled in six-inch platform heels more times than i care to remember, and have kissed many people who probably shouldn’t breed. I became ‘Nameless’, the girl who could […]
I was born out of a howl. I came from an angry valley. I’ve read that it’s impossible to retain memories from before the age of 2, but my first memory is of a darkness without stars. My mother was a keyboard and my father was a German Shepherd. Or maybe it’s my mother was […]
it was 2 years ago when I decided to really get my life together, because I realized it was either save myself or burn. In the beginning, I was miserable mostly 9 days out of 10. This is demonstrable because I coded my emotions in a spreadsheet and gave them numerical values. There were days […]
Cynicism is easy – I realize that now – because I used to look at the world in disdain with its McDonalds, mall, and unhappy marriages and just see shit piled on top of shit. I saw a gray world spattered with a dawn like blood, a beautiful sky that we didn’t deserve. Is this […]
This is a post about how safety is an illusion and we’re all going to die. The other day I asked on Facebook if I should apply to Clarion West’s writing workshop and I got a pretty loud resounding no from everyone for various reasons – that the average writer at Clarion didn’t get published, […]
“It starts with this: put your desk in the corner, and every time you sit down there to write, remind yourself why it isn’t in the middle of the room. Life isn’t a support system for art. It’s the other way around.” – Stephen King, On Writing I’ve recently started going to Kung Fu, so […]
NOTE: I wrote this last year at the beginning of 2017. I find that for the most part, my resolution has stayed the same, so I thought I’d share it for moving into 2018 and beyond. Four days into 2017 and I still have the same resolution as I’ve had for the last four years: […]
Maybe Kevin Spacey is a monster, but it doesn’t shock me. Did you think rapists lived in coiled caves and drank blood under full moons, growing fur around their ankles? Monsters are not born in boiled mountains, fed on ash and bones. They are made out of gaping wounds, excuses, selfishness, the stupidity that comes […]
When you cook a meal, it is the perfect representation of how will and action produce results. As I cook and try out new recipes, I’m learning what it’s like to be alive. I force myself out of disassociation by salting a broth and tasting how it makes the dish become brilliant with new dimensions. […]
